"I’m trying to decide between keto and paleo," she said. "I’m leaning paleo, it seems easier. Really it’s just - less processed food. More natural."
"Yes." her father replied, "More natural. Just - don’t add salt to your food. Don’t add sugar. Don’t add butter."
A few weeks ago I was sitting on a log in a redwood forest, eating this very delicious homemade sandwich, when I overheard this exchange between two fellow hikers passing by.
homemade sourdough + some chicken I roasted + green sauce + cilantro butter + avocado = YUMMMM
I was struck by the normalcy of this conversation: the way we love to designate foods as "good" or "bad." How we gravitate towards diets with rules to follow and try to pick the "easiest" one. I marveled at the way she clearly knows that "natural, unprocessed" food is the way to go, and yet still feels the need to pick a "diet."
If you've never tried out a trendy diet - CONGRATS! I applaud you! But if you’re like me and many of us living in the diet-culture-obsessed western world, I'm guessing you’ve tried at least one, and/or have heard someone you love have one of these debates.
Why do we gravitate towards "diets" with such rules?! Aside from the (often problematic) culture around diets, I have a theory.
Per the writings of Michael Pollan: "wondering what to eat" is actually a relatively new human problem. Back in the day, people ate what their moms made them; and those moms cooked what their moms had cooked, and so it goes back and back into history. People ate what grew in their local area, which was dictated by the land and the climate, with maybe a few special ingredients traded from around the world. Before agriculture, people hunted and gathered whatever they could find around them that was edible. Originally, mother nature (and the built-in knowledge in our bodies) told us what to eat.
In modern times, we have countless questions to answer: Where should I buy my food? Amazon? Whole Foods? The corner store? Costco? The farmers market?
Once we get to whatever site/store we have decided on: What should I buy to eat?!?! OMG THE OPTIONS! And then, once I buy it, what should I COOK with this food?!?!
Decision paralysis is a real thing. When we have too many options, we get overwhelmed. The crazy array of food options can be mentally paralyzing, not to mention the countless gurus, doctors, influencers, nutritionists, family members and friends telling us what is best to eat.
I think the overwhelm is why we are attracted to diets with rules. The rules promise peace of mind and freedom from food decisions, and they also promise the "results" we seek - weight loss, more energy, better health, etc.
So we try the diet, we start to follow the rules. It goes well for a little bit, and then…. we go to a social gathering or a restaurant or pop on Seamless and BAM - the diet is suddenly impossible. The rules feel restrictive instead of freeing. We desperately want whatever tasty thing is on offer and beckoning to be eaten.
Diets and rules work great in a vacuum. But we don’t live in a vacuum. We live in a world that is full of tasty temptations - some of them worthwhile treats that bring us joy, some of them addictively-designed processed foods that make us feel crappy. So how do we balance our desire to eat healthy with having a social life and also truly enjoying delicious treats?!
This is a question I grappled with for most of my life… and I am happy to report that I actually figured out a solution that really works for me. And I have now sustained it for about 3 years :).
TODAY - it's time to tell you about it!! Because a) it determines the kinds of food I cook and talk/teach about, which is what you're here for, and b) because I think it might help you too.
You may be thinking, "But Jess! Some foods really ARE bad and some foods are good, aren’t they? I mean, lots of people have great success on diets."
Well… yes… but I would argue that most of the diets do the same thing - they get people to eat "unprocessed, more natural food" - just like the hiker woman knew, but needed a "diet" to actually act on.
I would also argue... we humans are omnivores, we can thrive on many different kinds of diets, so really... any food is fine in moderation. It's just that moderation is ambiguous and harder to live by; "rules" are easier to follow because they are clear.
I should also say - I have tried MANY diets in my life (In high school I tried a two-week strict diet of salmon and greens to clear up my very-bad acne. It actually worked! but it did not feel sustainable.) In doing diets, I learned a lot about how my body feels when eating different foods.
I think that curiosity as a motivator can be a healthy reason to "try" a diet. Sometimes we accept the way our bodies feel as "normal" simply because we don’t even KNOW we could feel WAY BETTER if we ate a different way / eliminated a certain food we don’t even realize is negatively affecting us (my personal experience on that here). So - I DO support healthy experimentation, on occasion, with diets. And I believe that mainly, the RIGHT answer about what's good for you can be best determined by noticing how your body feels and reacts after eating different foods.
Two more things about health before I get to the details of my personal "diet" solution:
The way I eat and live is based on the fact that I am already quite healthy and my goal is to maintain my health. If I had a specific health condition, I would absolutely be thinking about my diet as a way to help heal my body from, or potentially resolve, that condition, which might then include getting really specific about what I was eating. I believe this is what doctors and nutritionists and specialists are for - to advise on nutrition in these kinds of situations.
I am also lucky in that I don’t have any food allergies. Food allergies and sensitivities are serious and I don’t mean to minimize the seriousness of these for people who have them.
So - about three years ago, I wanted to be done with other people's diets and rules, but I DID want some structure to live by in how I eat. If you haven’t picked up on this already, I LOVE TO EAT, above all else. So I know that I love eating way too much to be healthy with ZERO structure. So I decided to design my OWN guidelines that fit me and my values. I wanted a LIFESTYLE, not a diet. So I created one!
I’ve been living this way for a few years now, and I have never felt better in my body. I don’t spend time stressing or wondering what to eat. I just live my life. IT'S THE BEST.
It is only in the last two weeks that I am actually putting exact words to this "lifestyle," and so I'm super excited to share them with you and hear what you think!
So, without further ado... let me introduce ... (this is a working title)...
80/20 Striving (a lifestyle)
the structure:
80% of the time I eat super healthy (veggie-centric), 20% of the time I am fully free to indulge in anything I want to eat
80% of my meals I cook; 20% I eat out/other
80% of my meals, I make in 20 mins or less*; and my 20% effort of prep/cooking ahead of time makes this possible
VEGGIE-CENTRIC = 80% of my food is (mostly green) VEGGIES + spices, seeds, nuts, healthy fats; 20% is add-ons: meat, fish, legumes, carbs, starchy veg, dairy, fruit, other
80% of my cooking is intuitive AUTOPILOT (the same 10 "formats" of foods I always make); 20% of my cooking is fun EFFORT (new recipes/complicated stuff that is worth-it to me)
And if you wanted to really zoom out, you could say that:
80% of the year, I eat this way, and 20% of the time I do not (holidays, traveling, vacation)
{*the 80% of meals made in 20 mins or less is true for me as a person only cooking for myself; I *think* this is possible cooking for two, I am not as confident this is possible cooking regularly for a family... I am sure my methods would help things be faster! But I can only say for sure what I do for myself currently.}
I used the word STRIVING here very intentionally. This is not about measurements or calculations. This is about STRIVING. It is an ongoing, active practice towards the 80/20 balance. To be honest, it is only in looking back on the past 3 years of how I’ve been eating and cooking that I can see it actually fits this roughly 80/20 ratio.
A KEY part of the 80/20 Striving lifestyle is that I observe when I am veering into more-indulgent trends, and when I do, I either A) gently bring myself back towards 80% veggie-centric (or I'm if eating out a lot, I'll eat veggie-centric OUT as best I can) OR, if I'm being REALLY proactive, I'll b) plan ahead and eat a little *extra* healthy before I go on vacation/come up on the holidays/etc. The key is - I know that I can get back on track when I return to my usual 80/20, and this prevents me from stressing when I'm in a period of more indulgence. MUCH LESS STRESS, MUCH MORE ENJOYMENT.
Obviously it's crucial here that I cook 80% of my food. You also likely noticed the 80% "INTUITIVE AUTOPILOT" cooking - this is the kind of cooking that I've been really honing over the last couple years. And now that I'm teaching cooking - THIS is the food/cooking I want to teach. These 10 "formats" or categories of dishes that I've mastered are what allow me to make 80% of my meals in 20 mins or less, made possible by my 20% effort of prep/cooking ahead of time.
The 10 "formats" - which each include favorite recipes/skills/habits are what I'm going to be teaching in my online cooking courses for the foreseeable future, until I have gotten all of this content out of me and into the world, helping you!
I realized this week that what I've been sharing about for the last ~2 years is really a cooking lifestyle, more than just cooking "lessons." And the power of a lifestyle is that you don't have to THINK about it, you just LIVE it! It's built in. Which allows you to spend your mental energy on whatever else excites you in life, while also being EXTREMELY well-fed and feeling GREAT :).
Phew! That was a lot! And I have a lot more to say on it! But I will leave you here to digest all that. Thanks so much for reading and being part of this journey with me!
so much love,
Jess